by Elizabeth Willis Barrett
If you have ever burped with your head down, you already know that it can be unpleasant and if you haven’t, don’t. That’s all that needs to be said on that subject.
The other bit of advice is this: if you are turning on the garbage disposal, don’t put your hand in its vicinity to catch the spray before it gets on your brand new shutters. For one thing, the rubber stopper should prevent any spraying and for another, there might be a mis-laid knife spinning in the disposal that could do you some considerable bodily harm.
The other day I did and it did. Before Brad gasped and offered his condolences for my mutilated hand (actually, he never got to the gasp), he said exactly what I was thinking:“That was a really stupid thing to do!” Then he kept going, “Why would you put your hand down by the disposal? That’s what the gasket is for, to keep the stuff from spraying out. How stupid! Why did you do that?”
I wailed hysterically as I held my left hand motherly with my right hand, waiting for blood to splash on our brand new wood floor. But even before I looked at my hand to see if I would ever again be able to play superbly mastered accompaniments on the piano, I attempted to set things straight. “Brad,” I howled, “I know it was a stupid thing to do! You don’t have to tell me! Do you think I’ll ever put my hand by a running disposal again? No, of course I won’t!” Then I looked at my hand.
After the initial shock of pain and betrayal from a once friendly disposal, I guessed what had happened. I had let a sharp knife fall into the disposal unnoticed and it was tall enough to raise it’s biting teeth above the disposal’s opening. When I flipped the switch and put my protecting hand down, the knife could only spin and bite. So it did. Ouch!
I bravely opened my aching hand to take inventory, and found a bleeding gouge in the center of my palm with four other cuts oozing red. Besides being cut, my hand felt battered and bruised, probably because it had been battered and bruised if only briefly. It could have been worse.
Brad was very kind after he vented his frustration at my stupidity and after days of bandaids and Neosporin, I think I can play the piano without any problem. I still feel some pain, however.
So, just a reminder: when turning on a garbage disposal, keep your hands away from the opening.
If I think of any more advice, I’ll pass it on. No sense in all of us making the same mistakes.